Reply To: Financial mess and shame

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Adults Relationships Financial mess and shame Reply To: Financial mess and shame

#51305
stunned
Participant

JuUne 13, 2017
Dear Sir,
1. Please immediately speak to the doctor who diagnosed you and if he/she recommends some form of medication, please buy it and take it as prescribed even if you do not have the money, because for some the medication will help you to think better. If you live in a community with free counseling please immediately speak to that counselor if
he/she has experience dealing with adults with ADHD if for nothing else to vent about the lost years, job loss, money problems today. Please note if medication is recommended be “ready” for a major change in the way you think, much like the movie “Limitless” http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1219289/ . For me I had no warning like I have just given to you and because of that I made a big mistake by pointing out to my now former wife things that she wasn’t doing right. As you can guess, she didn’t like that one bit. Personally, I think she took advantage of my ADHD to be cruel to me and years later I am much happier since we divorced.

2. Perhaps this one “free” easy to read and very interesting book will help you? Richest Man in Babylon, http://www.ccsales.com/the_richest_man_in_babylon.pdf
My prayers are with you and your family. If your wife has decided to stay with you “even after” your thinking has improved then work with the counselor and her to get a new job and arrange your financial affairs. Quoting D. Michael Abrashoff, former commander, USS Benfold, “problems” do not get better with time! Work hand in hand with your family doctor, psychiatrist, counselor, and your wife as fast as you can and you may still save everything.

3. Please show this email to your wife so that she will know that other ADHD husbands are rooting for you, your wife, and your family.

4. NB: my username is what my classmates used to call me in elementary/middle school. I wish I knew then what I know now.

5. I pray you still have time to save your family which you must dearly love to have had the courage to ask for help in a public forum.

6. One final thought, you may meet family members and friends who will “deny that you suffer from ADHD” likely out of fear or “guilt”. Forget wasting even a second on trying to change their thinking. I know this from the reaction of my parents and siblings to my wasted hours trying to do this to no avail. Put all of your energy into finding your new job and by your success, your wife and you will become a model for your son of what can happen when two people who love each other work together to solve a life problem that every couple experiences.

7. God bless you and your family.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by stunned.