Reply To: Birthday party heartbreak

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Boy, do I know how you feel. So sorry you and your child are going through a very difficult time. It’s horrible, heartbreaking and very difficult for a parent to watch, not to mention our Children to go through. But it does get better if you get a few people involved at school, as I did. When I went through a similar birthday experience with my Son and saw how heartbroken he was and how cruel and unfair other children were treating him, I made appointments with his teachers, guidance counselor and case manager as my Son is under an IEP, to discuss the situation at hand. I also asked them to tell me who (if anyone) my Son appeared to get along with in class and who he sat with at lunch. Once the word bully came out of my mouth and I described the problem we were having, they moved heaven and earth to help me. From changing seat assignments in class and regrouping children during lunch to avoid the clicks. They started keeping a watchful eye on who he gravitated to and talked to during recess, which were kids that were on the same boat as he. In a few weeks, they were able to pinpoint a few main instigators, where the rest of kids just followed along to be cool. They were all spoken to by the principal, as were their parents, which appeared to be unaware of this behavior. To help, I tried to attend most school functions and Back to School evenings so that I could meet the parents of the children who were in his class. By doing so, I was able to make friends with the parents themselves, who turned out to be my most valuable allies in this type of situation because some did not know what my child was going thru and were very willing to do whatever was necessary to help. Those who really wanted to help would invite us to their parties and in turn make sure to attend ours. They would alert me to activities, social skills classes and other fun stuff that their children were trying that I wasn’t aware of that he might enjoy with familiar kids. We’ve come a long way since his troubles at school began and he may not have more than 5 friends at this time, but I know that the 5 he does have are great and lasting friends. They enjoy each other’s company and treat each other with respect and that’s what it’s all about.

Please try to get your school involved and mostly the parents. They are your most valuable allies. There are some parents who will be disappointing to you but those who really want to help you and care about this situation, will definitely help you. Good luck and all the best to your wonderful family!

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by Vick2964.