The best information I’ve seen on this is from Dr. Daniel Amen. http://Www.amenclinics.com
Your son could be in need of something to help balance the chemicals in his brain besides bringing the frontal lobe into alignment. If you give a stimulant to a person who might have anxiety, temporal lobe imbalance or what Dr. Amen calls “ring of fire” which would be overactive area like basil ganglia or cingulate, the stimulant will increase frustration, anger and oppositional behaviour. Those areas need to be calmed first before putting them on a stimulant so they get the focus without the agitation and defiance. He has more of this in his Healing ADD book, or you can also take the quiz on his website answering the questions for your son. Dr. Amen has subdivided into seven types as opposed to the basic three. They get much more detailed. Our brains are really very complex so often one medication isn’t enough to balance every area.
Once you have the right med balance, you will have a much better time teaching behaviour.
In the meantime, having the conversation with him when he is not upset will help prepare him for those times when he is upset.
Giving minimal choices is important for oppositional behaviour. Would you like A or B? Being firm that those are the options when they make other demands, however remain calm at all times. (Easier said sometimes). Hope this helps!