Reply To: Just started 9 yo son on meds

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#51260
genedoug
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A long argument suggests you are arguing, in the illusion that if you give him the proper information, he will understand, and will then cooperate. Not likely. If he agrees with you, which he won’t, then he doesn’t get what he wants. When you argue, you are making him judge and jury, and he will never rule in your favor.
Think of an argument as like a tennis game. It can’t happen unless you bat the ball back. You are not obligated to produce the better argument, and he won’t agree even if you do. You are not obligated to produce one more answer than he does. The fact that you are the parent means your will wins, period.
You should allow him one “how come,” and one “yes but.” More than one is misbehavior, and that misbehavior should have an understood consequence.
Also when extinguishing a behavior, it always gets worse before it gets better. If you put a quarter into a Coke machine and it doesn’t deliver, you don’t just go away and never return. You shake the handle, maybe shake the machine, maybe insert another quarter and try again, and maybe look for the manager to see what he can do.
Likewise, if you cut off a kid’s access to a misbehavior, he doesn’t just say “Oh, well,” and never do it again. He will increase his efforts to get around your new method and make you do as you did in the past, which had worked for him at the time.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by genedoug.
  • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by genedoug.
  • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by Penny Williams.