My 7 year old son struggled with similar side effects for about a year, including trying many different types of stimulant medication. We finally figured out something that works for him – a high dose of a non-stimulant (intuniv 3mg) and a low dose of a stimulant (adderall 5mg). I suspect that any stimulant would work with the intuniv because they all worked well for him at school, it was just coming down off them in the evenings at home when his aggression and defiance was bad. I was reluctant to add a non-stimulant to deal with the side effects of a stimulant but eventually we ran out of options. The upside is that the non-stimulant alone works well enough for weekends and summer (including homework, at least most of the time) so he is taking a lot less of the more dangerous stimulant drug.