Reply To: Birthday party heartbreak

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I’m really sorry your son had to go through this. If I had a penny for every tear my son and I shared because of this, he could have bought a darn friend!! Just kidding – kinda. I hated birthday time, even more than ‘parent/teacher conference’ time! Like many others who posted, we looked closer to home for a friend or two and we made the parties into special outings for just the two or three of them. I firmly believe that from kindergarten up till HS (when he choose to go to the local Technical HS,) my son was the ‘scape-goat’ for each and every class – except for his 2nd grade year. I work in the schools and I’ll tell you right now, teachers do ‘love’ all their students; but after a long day of the ADHD, impulsive, literal, socially delayed student being a ‘nudge’, that student does not always get the ‘hugs’ the other students get in the younger grades. My son would complain about how he wasn’t even in the same area as a disturbance, but his classmates would blame him. WHY? Because the other students pick up on the teacher’s feelings and the general social awkwardness that accompanies ADHD. His second grade teacher was the best thing that ever happened to him. By then, he was getting sick and tired of the teachers and other kids always blaming him when it seemed to him that the standards he had to abide by weren’t the same for everyone. This teacher was ridged in her rules and they weren’t just written on the walls, she actually enforced them across the board for all students. He thought that was the best thing ever and made him realize that he was really smart and good at school.

He’s turning 19 today, he’s finished his first year at our County college and wants to be an architect. We still go through heck sometimes, but we are learning each day. My boy has some really GOOD friends, he works 2 part-time jobs, has a girlfriend (UGH!!), and he knows what an awesome young man he is and that his family is always on his side. Don’t give up, I can’t promise it will get easier, but it’s been worth every tear!