Reply To: Concern for my 14 year old son and his isolation

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My son who is now almost 16 is the same exact way and it used to break my heart seeing him with tears welling in his eyes as he would tell me about other kids who were all too busy with their other friends and couldn’t do anything with him or how he would eat lunch alone someday’s. I see SO much of myself in him as I was the same way when I was his age, minus the computer, and as his protector you wanna fix it cause you know exactly what he’s going through, but I have to remind myself that I am not my child and my child is not me. He is his own person with his own likes, dislikes, hobbies etc and, although disappointing, this bump in the road is one of life’s lessons he has to learn how to deal with on his own as he grows. I don’t think counseling or anti-social groups would do anything except make him feel like there’s something wrong with him and I highly doubt that’s the problem. You know he has tried, which is discouraging, but at least you know it’s not him. Just because they are kids doesn’t automatically make them nice and sweet, kids can be just as cold, cruel and heartless as adults. Times are changing and it can be tough out there no matter what age you are. In my opinion he hasn’t given up he’s chosen to be himself and if other kids don’t appreciate him for who he really is then oh well he has better things to do. Be proud of him for not changing who he is to try and have a “friend” if he enjoys it then so be it at least he’s at home and not out with the “wrong friends”. What may not make sense to us as enjoyable or seems isolated and lonely is generally what they seek solace in. When my son was 14 I let him get a Steam account, it’s free to sign up, but you can also buy a Steam Pack card ($20 and up) so he can buy add on’s or different games altogether. My son has a lot of friends, many of which don’t even live in this state, I got him a headset and he talks with them all the time. The thing I like most about it is you can verify who the friends really are so you know it’s not some weirdo and he’s made these friends by choosing a game he liked, they were already playing and they started to chat. The absolute best part though is hearing him talking, laughing and joking around with them. Smile Mama everything’s going to be alright