Thanks for the thoughtful response, AnneHW. He’s convinced that he is trying and very hard, but he’s not embracing the “try differently” approach because alternatives don’t make any sense to him. Also, how can I say he’s not trying when he does take meds and go to many appointments? How do I – or anyone – explain that “he’s not really trying at all?” I guess I can’t accept that we can’t figure this out after all we’ve been through, in addition to not having a clue how I’d survive a divorce without a support system. Realizing I maybe just should have left a long time ago is also pretty tough to swallow.
It’s helpful to hear that your dad still made you feel loved, cared for, and that he could understand why things bothered you when pointed out. If that is possible for people to do with ADD, then I should go because I don’t experience those things at all even after all the treatment attempts. I’m just told I’m unreasonable and shouldn’t feel that way, but I thought that was an ADD symptom so I keep trying to get help. I also feel pretty guilty sometimes because I’m so upset, frustrated, and angry most/all of the time now. Who would want to work on things when we’re both behaving poorly? What a mess. This is so very hard, and I don’t feel anyone is available to help either one of us.