I feel your pain SrH and Mjordan39.. its really hard and ‘groundhog day’ is a great adjective!
We even decided to have two homes, between a highly anxious/adhd/dyslexic 15 year old girl, and a husband who just feels that he is normal, and everyone else doesn’t get him, and a younger teen girl who doesn’t need to always be in the middle of those two…it was the best scenario we could work out. Life has been better without the 3rd child around, but .. its also now completely hard for me.. i know prior i did it all anyway, but now there isn’t even a warm body to tag team!. Though the good outweighs the bad, as the episodes of fighting and anger are less. What is key, is that I have to stay healthy, well rested and mentally strong. Neither of them will take medication, my daughter will not swallow pills, and he doesn’t think he needs to take anything, as all is fine now that he lives alone! It does pull at heartstrings, as i really wanted my family all together, but people need to realize that living with ADHD family is different, the same expectations society and even ‘healthy relationship thinkers’ have cannot be put against and ADHD family. WE need to stay strong in knowing, that there is love and connection, and maybe just maybe, after the child turns 25ish.. we can have some sense of ‘normal’ family life back, if not, at least some alone time and peace for ourselves.
I am glad i found this group.. are there any more formal chat groups for parents/moms of kids/spouses with ADHD??
For me its been almost a 15 year work effort.