Reply To: ADD and denial?

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#50391
NonADDspouse
Participant

Thank you for the posts. What I would like to know is not how to “fix” things, but rather, if it is his very disorder that keeps him from recognizing how his behaviors affect others, isn’t that a symptom in need of treatment or coping mechanisms? He is begging for help with that, but nothing is working. How do people get to that point where they overcome the denial and/or see how they affect others?

Other people’s experiences and emotions don’t make any sense to him whatsoever. Articles, books, and therapists haven’t been successful. He is very highly intelligent, but often unable to even try what’s recommended to help because it “feels so wrong to him” (e.g., why do I need to tell you what time I’m coming home, delegate responsibilities, follow through with promises, put anything on a calendar or do anything on a calendar, listen to you, have a routine or boundaries, stop saying really insensitive/hurtful things, prioritize, discuss a budget, recognize lack of intimacy, etc. It doesn’t bother me, why does it bother you?). Although nothing has helped, every person, article, and book seems to say that these symptoms are something that can absolutely be managed. Is that just not true? Is that the missing piece here? He just won’t ever be able to manage this (and I should just walk away)?