Reply To: New to dating a guy with ADHD – Need advice

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#50344
AnneHW
Participant

This has been a fascinating thread! And here’s what I’ll keep saying: All relationships take work. As soon as I read the ones complaining abouth a spouse, I find myself thinking there’s more going on than ADD/ADHD. We aren’t crazy, mean, uncaring or lazy. We have trouble staying focused, and to some extent, it can be a bit of a roller coaster ride. But it’s not the end of the world, and it doesn’t mean you will spend your life walking on eggshells and trying to micromanage your spouse. Why would you want to be in that kind of relationship anyway?

I do think it can affect men differently, BUT that’s because men and women tend to react and handle things differently in general. Not all, but I think that in many cases women tend to be more up front, while men hold a lot inside. That’s true of people without ADD/ADHD.

Lindyloo, I’m very sorry you are so unhappy. It sounds like a miserable situation, but can I just point out that almost immediately you talked about having nothing in common. That has nothing to do with ADD. I had a little trouble reading your post, but it sounds like he has other mental health issues? If that’s the case, then that’s something different. I don’t know what’s going on in your relationship, but obviously no one is happy. All I can say is you need to figure out what you need to do for yourself. If you feel like you can’t leave for whatever reason, then get counseling, find other interests. Do something, but don’t let a bad relationship define your entire life.

And thank you again, Mindy. I missed an earlier post from you, and it was so wise. We need to support one another, stay strong, and not allow ourselves to be defined by other people’s bad behavior. 😇