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#50273
Flutterby
Participant

I am constantly dealing with a similar issue! I seem to be on an endless loop of obsessions, and also have home and family commitments that prevent me from diving into them fully so they end up petering out within a few weeks or months. In the past 8 months or so I have become enamored with various different creative pursuits that I am 100% convinced (at the time) will somehow lead me to pursue “my true calling” and leave my ho-hum job as an administrative coordinator. These things have included writing (blogs, poetry, fiction), drawing/hand-lettering/illustration, graphic design, launching an Etsy shop of handmade products and even voiceover work. This is all despite having next to zero experience with any of these things. I do think that I have a lot of untapped artistic talents but have never really indulged them, always pursuing jobs and activities because they were safe and didn’t overwhelm me (I’m also a very anxious person). Or I became obsessed with them to an unhealthy level and burned out. Now that I have addressed my anxiety and ADHD I am finally ready to explore things more suited to me, but this comes at a bad time. I have a solid 9-5 job but I am bored and going through the motions, even though my performance is fine. Not stellar, but fine. The thing it, my job makes sense right now for our family and we are planning for a second child so I really do need the paid leave and other benefits the job offers. And since our family is on a tight budget I usually stop myself before spending money on these pursuits, but my usual pattern is to read up obsessively about these fields, listen to podcasts them and talk to others who may have connections. Then someone or something will discourage me from taking anything further, and I give up.

Right now I am trying to take a break from all this and focus more on spending time with family. But I still try to work “me things” into my everyday routine to keep from getting bored and stir crazy.I.e., I am reading the Harry Potter series for the first time (!) and try to read a chapter every night, and I am constantly listening to new podcasts on my commute that help with quenching my natural curiosity.

Taking a few days off from work and the streaming might be a good idea, as you mentioned. Maybe some long walks or doing relaxing activities that re-center you and hopefully bring you some sense of control and calm. Good luck!!!