Reply To: New to dating a guy with ADHD – Need advice

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Spouses & Loved Ones New to dating a guy with ADHD – Need advice Reply To: New to dating a guy with ADHD – Need advice


I’ve been married for 9 years with a partner with ADD. He is now 64. His symptoms are also coupled with ageing so half the time I can’t tell now if its ageing or not, so I am getting more and more frustrated. Jobs are never completed, with 5 going at once, topics of conversation change mid sentence and attention span is about 3 seconds. Also lots of swearing now and inappropriate behaviour in front of me. But not in front of others, so sometimes I feel like I’m going nuts. What I’ve decided to do is refocus my version of “Love”. I Love my husband but I also Love myself and my life and I don’t want to focus 100% on him any more. That doesn’t mean I don’t love him, but I am healthier and happier when I am looking after myself and doing what I love. In other words, I’ve decided to give him less of my heart and protect myself. I’m too old for this now, and I need to enjoy my life. I don’t need another child, I need a partner. If he can raise to the occasion of being my partner then he is welcome to come along, but when he is in his world, I walk far away and let him get on with his own stuff. I can find other stuff to do. In other words, I’ve stopped focusing everything on him. Hope this helps.