I am in the same situation. I love how you put it-I expected more seriousness in the marriage. That is so true. I was just thinking that the other day-I wish I was married to an adult (we are both in our 40’s). I can’t have a serious conversation with him because he is always making jokes, I think it’s a defense mechanism or something. And I think another part of the problem is, he really doesn’t want to be an adult. His ADHD aside (he’s been on meds for 4 years and I honestly don’t notice any difference), I think he doesn’t want to be involved, to help raise the kids, to make decisions about the house or finances. I think he wanted a mother when he got married even though we lived together first and I was not like a mother then so I don’t know why he would expect that after we got married. I feel like the thinks his only role is to provide financially. Which fortunately he is able to do. He may be present but he is not a father or a husband. I am raising our kids on my own. And he truly sees nothing wrong with that.