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People who blame ADHD on poor parenting really don’t know what the disorder is about. They trivialise it and think it is just about behavioural problems. But it often doesn’t cause behavioural problems at all. What it does cause is general problems with executive functioning.
Does poor parenting cause poor memory? Does it cause a child to struggle to understand time and sequence? To be excessively distractible and unable to stay on task, even when they really want to? Or to be so absorbed in something they don’t hear you call them in a quiet room from a metre away? To struggle with distractibility and staying on task? Does poor parenting cause poor motor skills?
Maybe explaining what ADHD actually is can help.