I can relate. My husband isn’t diagnosed, but we are all pretty confident that is where our son inherited his ADHD. And they butt heads often, because they are both concrete thinkers, inflexible, and struggle with rejection-sensitive dysphoria.
What you need is to get everyone in the house on the same page, and probably some outside professional help to do so. Spouses often take parenting direction much better from a professional than from their spouse. A family counselor experienced with ADHD could help you come to an agreement on a parenting approach and help your husband understand why a united parenting front is so important, and so helpful for kids’ behavior. 😉
A positive parenting approach is most effective with children with ADHD:
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism