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Sorry you are having a tough time of it – it is enough to have to deal with without having to deal with such out of date and ill informed opinions. You are doing the right thing by informing yourself so well.
I have often found it useful to inform people about the science of ADHD. For example, as you will no doubt be aware by now there are evident differences on an MRI scan of the brain of a person with ADHD compared to a neurotypical brain. Parts of the brain, mainly the pre-frontal cortex, are under-active. It is generally thought that a major reason for this is that the levels of certain neurotransmitters are low in ADHD sufferers – the stimulant medications work by increasing the levels of these neurotransmitters.
Many people who do not know about ADHD are not aware of this. I didn’t, and my own family didn’t, in fact, despite all having medical backgrounds. However it is fairly easy to understand and difficult to argue with – though you probably won’t convince everyone. Some people still believe the Earth is flat, after all!