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I had terrible time with my birth family who all wanted to blame me for my ADHD son’s behaviour, and it made our life much harder than it needed to be until I learned to walk away from their judgements.
Neurotypicals generally have very little real imagination that people are not all the same and certainly not the same as them. The ‘ i can do this so you should too’ approach to being unkind and judgemental.
You don’t need to cut them off completely although we ended up doing just that as a family because we all got so fed up with their attitudes. But you can cut them off emotionally in terms of not listening to their attitudes and just understanding it is their attitude and nothing to do with you.
I found mindfulness really helped with all this stuff, managing the ADHD my own and my sons, managing other people and coping generally.