Reply To: Out of control on all fronts

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#48989
sylviec
Participant

first of all don’t try and control Add pr ADHD, you cant and you will end up making things worse by trying to do this. I tried for years and ended up making myself so stressed by trying to be like neurotypicals that i had a breakdown or two along the way. It is all the self judgement snds trying to fit into moulds that you were never intended to fit into anyway. ANd i was a single mum with two sons and a full time job so not an easy life.
Prioritise – what matters most of all.
Challenge the social values that say you must be like this to be a good mum / person etc. rubbish be how you are
stop – just stop rushing and trying to be something you can never be even with Meds. then look and see what you are good at. there will be lots of things that you perhaps don’t even recognise
let go of the demands you place on yourself and pick something that really matters and see if you can do that one thing, just that and nothing else for now. You might feel that this is impossible but i promise you it isn’t. If you feel like you cant do this because there is just too much to cope with just stop and watch a film with your children and share some real quality time with them. THen see if the sky has fallen in yet. or go for a picnic etc. anything that enables you to completely stop for a while and let go of your anxieties for today. Then pick one thing the comes next and do it like that.
Sure you will get distracted, tell yourself that is ok too, if you notice you are distracted then just notice it without judgement or despair and come back to the ask in hand. Keep doing that until you get it done and then you will notice that lots of other things happened when you got distracted each time but that is ok too, some might have been useful and some just interesting
here is an article i wrote about ADH and mindfulness that might help too https://medium.com/@sylviaclare/adhd-and-mindfulness-a-users-guide-54d9cf3c47f1