Reply To: 9 year old daughter having trouble with friends.

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Penny Williams

Friendship struggles are definitely common in kids with ADHD. My son looks like he’s being bossy and controlling with friends, but I learned that wasn’t his intention, that black-and-white thinking was causing him to see only one way.

Since he struggled to put himself in someone else’s shoes, we worked really hard at it. Before a friend was coming over, I’d talk with him about “rules” of good friendship. I’d tell him you should always let your guest pick the first activity, starting out without seeming bossy. We would talk about give-and-take and how everyone should have the opportunity to do what they would like to, also. Giving if-then social rules can really help.

Here’s more on social skills help for kids with ADHD:

The Playdate Protocol: Rules of Engagement, Sharing, and Taking Turns

Help for Socially Immature Kids

Coaching Kids Toward Lasting Friendships

You also mentioned that she’s taking Adderall and Prozac. There’s a little known interaction between amphetamines and Prozac/Paxil.

You might want to talk to her doctor about this and try a different SSRI or a different stimulant.

ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism