Reply To: how do I talk to my undiagnosed husband about his self medicating?

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#48871
magicleap
Participant

Suzy, I find your response enlightening. I can see the hypersensitive. But what I don’t understand is why sometimes instead of love and nurture I just get anger impatience and frustration. I’m a good wife and mother. I work from home and take care of our child and make a home cooked meal every other day. I prepare his coffee in the morning, I do all the laundry and dishes, and I make appts for him and schedule home repairs. Literally I don’t think there is anywhere I slack. I a. Loving, I touch gently, give hugs, smiles, kisses, and am always sexually available. Probably even more sexually frustrates on my end. I just do t understand – I am uplifting. Where as he is critical judge mental and negative. Where I might be lost in thought remembering a first date, he is lost in thought as to why I didn’t drive a different route with less traffic. I am honestly just so lost as to what to think do or sa – I no longer know who I am.
I wish he could talk to me and tell me his feelings. Instead it’s just silence on his end and he might explode if you force a convi about feelings. Don’t bother if he hasn’t had a joint.
How do I say- I think you have an underlying issue that you use these substances for. Caffeine, nicotine, marijuana and alcohol. I don’t want him to feel attacked. I don’t even treat him like there’s something wrong with him but in turn he acts like there’s something wrong with me. I feel scared and like I’m walking on eggshells.of course he says that about me…