I’m sorry to hear about your medical problems!
I think every really involved parent worries about what would happen if tragedy struck and we were gone. I worry about it on occasion myself. I’d like to think others would step up and honor me by carrying on my approach, but I fear no one would advocate for my son like I do.
Maybe drafting an actual informal plan with your ex and others would be a good idea. It could put your mind at ease that at least everyone knows your wishes and has agreed to some of it. ???
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism