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You need to formally request a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) and a resulting Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP). Details in this article:
When a disability affects behavior, school behavior policies can and should be accommodated for that student. She should not miss major school functions like dances and field trips due to off task behavior, especially when she has a documented disability that causes this exact behavior.
We have dealt with the same thing this year. My son (8th grade) has been prevented from a school dance due to dings on their Positive Behavior Interventions & Support (PBIS) plan. These plans and rules are written for the masses, the neurotypical kids. They should have policies for kids with disabilities too, but most don’t. At the beginning of this school year, my son had one day of ISS because he shoved a kid who wouldn’t stop bullying the younger kids on the bus. He ended up getting beaten up by this kid when they got off the bus. But, because my son touched him first, he got ISS. Administration was very supportive and praised him standing up for other kids. However, 12 weeks later when it was time for the PBIS school dance, he was told he couldn’t purchase a ticket because he had ISS once that semester.
This treatment really is unacceptable for our kids, but we parents can only affect as much change as administration is willing to administer.
In your case, I’d argue that her rights as a student with disabilities are being violated. Remind them that fair isn’t equal, it’s getting what you need.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism