Wow! That is my emotional hell also. I was diagnosed 16 years ago; I am now 61. As far back as I can remember that was my thought process – Everybody had to be talking about me. And I can tell you from experience, he is definitely NOT alone.To this day I have to consciously stop myself from assuming. This afternoon I wanted to snap at my wife because she took a deep breath and I assumed it was about why it was taking me so long to do something. Needless to say I was wrong.
He really needs to own the fact it is part of our ADD brain.
I found that while medication is good, cognitive behavior therapy will really work for this. It is a therapist coaching him – athletes call it muscle memory. It is not something he can sit down and talk through with a therapist. He needs to learn his triggers and what he can do to evaluate his feelings. He is a professor, he’ll understand the idea of learning about his issue.
This is something worth the trouble of travelling to a larger town to find a qualified therapist. Take me word for it, your husband will be happier and so will you. He should also try to find a support group he can join. It helps to hear from others going through the same thing