Reply To: ADD, depression, and lack of motivation

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Kevin Ju

This reply was originally posted by user pnwsuzie in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

I want to respond because I feel your pain and I can relate to it. I get frozen when there’s free time and so many choices of what I could do with it…but I know that, whatever I do, there will be so many other things left undone. It’s hard to accept the amount of time that is available and not wish for more.

I wonder if you’re struggling with being so busy with work, then spending most of your free time helping your parents—and when you have time for yourself, there’s still more work on the plate (like laundry). When do you get to just enjoy life and do something that’s fun? So you can’t get started on the laundry because you really want to give yourself a break. But you won’t allow yourself to do that, so you get frozen. Your subconscious gets what it wants—you get a break from all the work—but it’s not very satisfying because you’re fighting with yourself the whole time. This is all a guess, based on what I go through with myself. It’s a real anxiety-producing way to live.

Maybe, if you could figure out something you would actually enjoy doing, you could give yourself permission to do it during part of your “free” time. I meditate, take walks, read, work on creative projects and enjoy my pets when I need a break from accomplishing things. My suggestion is to think about giving yourself a break for a certain amount of time, with the idea that you will be much more productive with the rest of your time if you aren’t so conflicted and hard on yourself.