This reply was originally posted by user Dr. Eric in ADDitude’s now-retired community.
Even without the ADHD, this is a time of self-discovery.
I would recommend a “bottom-line” approach.
If you establish a bottom line that is objectively measurable for school perfomance, homework, chores, not forgetting things, etc… then, he gets to do things mostly his way.
If he cannot, then things become progressively more and more your way.
If anyone can find a way to get ADHD kids to develop positive habits BEFORE they are facing the negative consequences of not having that skill, this community will make you rich. If he is getting away with it, even if only for now, their is no incentive to torture himself to develop that skill or habit.
You can give him access to article, books, mentors, or successful peers with similar issues, but you are merely leading the horse to water.
I remember clear as day. First reading the brochure in the University support center. Then reading Driven to Distraction and thinking… ok, this is totally me.
I still needed to construct my identity as a person with ADD, and what that meant…
That will be a genuine moment, and it cannot be forced.