This reply was originally posted by user adhdmomma in ADDitude’s now-retired community.
I wouldn’t accept anger when the medication wears off. To me, that signals that it may very well be the wrong ADHD medication for him. You shouldn’t have to live with that, nor should your son. Talk to the prescribing doctor about that.
My son is 14 and is much more sensitive to being micro-managed and “nagged” than he used to be. He’s becoming very resistant to that too. As a result, I’ve stepped back some. I remind him to do homework and have him to it at the same time every day. I don’t hover over him and I don’t check it anymore (unless he finishes in less than 5 minutes, signaling that he probably wrote down anything and called it done). he struggles with getting assignments home and back to school and turned in without loosing them. As a result of all of this, my gifted IQ son has mostly C’s in his classes. I’ve had to accept that C’s are ok for him, because he has so many learning challenges, even though he’s very smart.
Your son is trying to assert his independence (as is mine). They are at the age where they want to be able to do for themselves, and succeed at that.
So, rather than mico-manage and nag, we have to create the scaffolding they need to succeed—teaching them strategies to work around ADHD. One we use is doing homework at the same time every day. If you son has a phone, help him set up daily alarms and reminders and the like.
ADDconnect Moderator, Author on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen boy with ADHD, LDs, and autism