This reply was originally posted by user adhdmomma in ADDitude’s now-retired community.
Behavior modification takes a lot of time and a lot of consistency. Telling your son something one time is not going to make a difference. One meeting with a mentor is not going to make a difference. You have to keep at it for a long time.
It sounds like you have more to learn about ADHD and about your son’s unique differences. Like the struggle with working memory. If you tell him to shower when he gets home and then some time passes before he can actually take the shower, his ADHD wreaked havoc and he forgot.
KIDS DO WELL IF THEY CAN according to behavior specialist Ross Greene (author of “The Explosive Child” which I highly recommend). Our kids want to do well. They want to be praised and rewarded. And they want to be loved. If they can’t do well, there’s a reason and it’s the parents’ job to figure out that reason and help with it.
When you’re exhausted and annoyed is the time you should show your son that you love him—that shows that you love him no matter what, ADHD and all.
ADDconnect Moderator, Author on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen boy with ADHD, LDs, and autism