This reply was originally posted by user marietta in ADDitude’s now-retired community.
You’re really in the thick of it now, but you’re also taking the steps. Keep going! Yes, keep going with the behaviorists and Yes, get yourself help, too. I know it’s costly, we’ve been shelling out, too. 10 months ago, I was sure I was losing my girl, and when the psychologist told me she wanted me to sit in on my child’s sessions, I almost spit. I thought, really? Give even more of myself?? I had been investing myself in so many ways in her, and I was losing her anyway, so I wanted to have someone else handle it. I didn’t love the therapist and still think she could have been better, but my daughter and I are doing a lot better together now.
Parenting a child with special needs can really attack the core of a parent’s sense of competence, and it does build up as resentment. Say it out loud to a friend, it’s ok, and just a sign that you need to keep appealing to people for support. You’re going to gain the ability to step back, assess why you’re getting flack, and then take action to prevent it or work around it. He’s not done cooking, and he’s going to need help to gain some skills as he’s growing up. Most of these conflicts come from an inability to meet the demands of his day that most people take for granted. Adapting the approach can increase *his* sense of competence, which will really ease the tensions in the home.