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This reply was originally posted by user John Tucker, PhD, ACG. ADHD Coach in ADDitude’s now-retired community.
This is a trying time for you and him so being impatient at times is quite normal but bless you for your inquiring spirit and the patience that you do have.
ADHD can be quite disabling even though it is, more or less, invisible. So you are right about it’s being out of control at the moment.
You are describing a man who knows and feels all is not well but does not know how to make it well. The things he says and does are not quite right and he does not know how to make them right. He is inattentive, distracted, and lost.
Going to a provider or clinic which specializes in ADHD is a very good idea and joining ADHD support groups is also very helpful.
Your husband can thrive with a clear knowledge of this syndrome and the continued empathy you have shown. The good news is that there are legions of very happy, productive and successful people with this diagnosis.