This reply was originally posted by user ADHDmomma in ADDitude’s now-retired community.
The first thing you have to recognize is that nothing will change until he’s open to it. The more you push and prod about something he’s not ready to address, the more he will close off.
It sounds like he feels pretty bad about himself and that’s the approach that will most likely yield some action. Stop talking about ADHD altogether and start talking about wanting him to be happy. What does he need to be happy? How can you help him in that area?
Talking about ADHD feels like you think he’s “broken” or “defective.” Talking about wanting him to be happy sounds like you care.
Here are a few articles on ADHD in relationships and when adults refuse to acknowledge their ADHD or get treatment:
ADDconnect Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism