Reply To: I feel cursed. Does anyone else?

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#41311
Kevin Ju
Keymaster

This reply was originally posted by user rbr in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

52 and just realized that I’ve had this all of my life. My version is calm and not hyper—and I’m also hyperfocused. It’s only recently that the internet has offered better descriptions for ADHD – I had taken tests before and never come close.

Until ten years ago I made my living as a creative professional musician, and this not only played on my strengths but also excused all of my quirks. I thrived and overachieved for many years.

I can’t imagine how a non-creative ADHD person could get through this without help, and it breaks my heart to think of it.

This has hit me hard in the last ten years, though. I’ve struggled keeping up with the routines of exercise and nutrition that used to keep me strong and on track. My organizational skills have gone from barely there to non-existent.

I despise a cluttered home, yet here I am. 52 years old and I FORGET to clean up after myself.

Mostly I feel disappointed that I’ve lost ten years of my life – unhappy in my work and location but somehow unable to pull out of it.

At the moment I don’t care what it’s called. If this is something I can manage that will let me get back to being successful and free and happy- I’m all in.