Reply To: Why Do We Continue To Do This?

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#41240
Hope @ ADDitude
Keymaster

This reply was originally posted by user Marr in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

Have you read / listened to Melissa Orlov? She wrote “The ADHD Effect on Marriage”. There is also another book from Gina Pera, “Is It You, Me or ADHD?“.

I also recommend you get some physical help. Pay someone or barter for helping with projects like laundry, etc., in exchange for you doing some of his executive functioning tasks that are more challenging for his brain wiring. Hire a younger neighbor kid to take the trash to the curb. Yes, taking the trash out is an executive functioning issue, and so is dealing with errands. You can have accommodation for your roles too to take some of the pressure off of you. It may be that you’ll need to have that prescription filled or picked up as long has he will take it. Maybe he needs to be playing with the kids while you deal with the trash, or some other role renegotiation. What can he contribute were he can do in his areas of strengths?