This reply was originally posted by user lolofrederick in ADDitude’s now-retired community.
It sounds like you’ve learned a lot about the disorder and have observed many symptoms in your spouse. There’s an old saying: If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, swims like a duck, then it’s a duck. I’d say you’re on target in your suspicion that he has ADHD.
It’s been my experience that mental health professionals’ knowledge of ADHD can be very limited and often dated. I wouldn’t rely heavily on the opinions of the neurologist or psychiatrist, especially one who is admittedly skeptical about the disorder.
The big question is: what does HE think? It’s up to him to learn about the disorder, own how it affects him and do the work to manage it.
My husband and I were both diagnosed in our late forties and learning about how it manifests in each other was a relationship game changer.
Wishing you the best! Laura