Reply To: My Husband Can't Keep a Job

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Hope @ ADDitude

This reply was originally posted by user nexus7722 in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

Hi there. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, and I’ve been there. Know that you’re not alone and, if you’re like me and everyone else in your family just thinks you’re hard on your husband unnecessarily, I get it. It is so hard being pregnant or with a new baby and being married to a man with ADD.

My husband is probably the most intelligent man I’ve ever met. But he consistently misses deadlines—at home and at work. I suspect that this played a huge role in him getting laid off a year back. Luckily, he was able to find a better job pretty quickly.

I don’t have any advice or big revelations; I’m struggling with this too. But, I will say this—in so much as you can, take care of yourself and your sanity. Rest up. Take nice baths. I got myself so stressed out during my pregnancy that I developed eclampsia (not fun, but baby and I both survived).

A few things I’ve learned that have helped:
—Don’t expect him to do anything unless you ask for it right then. ADHD sense of timing is different than ours.
—Try to find the joy in small things, whether it’s with him or by yourself.

As for the finances, that must be so scary. Praying that he’ll find something soon. <3