Reply To: First Experience with an ADHD Sufferer

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#41067
Hope @ ADDitude
Keymaster

This reply was originally posted by user GHM in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

It’s normal unfortunately. You can’t blame all of that on his ADHD either though. For some, it becomes a convenient excuse to act like an ass and plead ignorance. It also seems that he isn’t managing it well. I know that you have feelings for him. If you are a sensitive person, and you seem to be, you will be experiencing the same feelings for the duration of your relationship. Feeling as though it’s you and not him, feeling unwanted, unloved and neglected. A relationship with an ADHDer is not for everyone. You need to be thick- skinned, confident and strong as hell, and even then it’s difficult.

You can’t change him, you can’t fix him and he can only help himself by managing his ADHD appropriately. One pill is not a fix. Meds, therapy, diet, exercise, supplements all play a significant role in managing this condition.

If you’re already feeling like this, you’re in for difficult times. The symptoms often get worse as they get more comfortable in the relationship and life’s responsibilities and stress increase. Throw in marriage and children…whoa! Is this something that you are prepared to deal with? Only you know what you are capable of handling. Be honest with yourself, it’s not a time to look at the world through rose-colored glasses. Sorry to be so honest, but you need to know what you’re getting yourself into.