This reply was originally posted by user Bob@addventurecoaching.com in ADDitude’s now-retired community.
I am really impressed with the fact that you ask questions. That’s not something we typically do very well. However your first two questions were closed ended and allowed her to give you a one word answer. Your next reply “Well you seem to have a problem with part of it.” Was open-ended and you got the desired result of getting her off your back. You have probably noticed that when people are angry you can’t really talk to them because they are not thinking about what you are saying, instead they are thinking about what they’re going to say to you. If you can cultivate those open-ended questions, sometimes you can bring them back to using their thinking process rather than allowing emotions to control what they say. What I just said is true for everyone and it might sound like I am defending your shift leader, but I find her actions, both as a manager and a person to be unprofessional, ignorant, and bitchy. If you can stay in your head and ask those questions you will be able to control that relationship and deal with this “person”.
I am sure that I talk to myself out loud a lot more than I am aware of because my girlfriend tells me that I do. And you are correct, it is purely a neurological response to stress. You might also want to read up on Tourette’s syndrome because the general knowledge about this condition is typically wrong. Only a tiny fraction of people with Tourette’s blurt out words like you see on TV. I have Tourette’s but it usually doesn’t show up when other people are around.
Let me know if my advice about open-ended questions pays off in any way.
I’m also impressed with your acceptance level of your ADHD and who you are, because we have to accept it and be totally okay with it in order to change other people’s minds and educate them about what it really is. That shows a lot of courage.