Reply To: If you could go back in time and do it all over again, would you?

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#41045
Hope @ ADDitude
Keymaster

This reply was originally posted by user LadyDi69 in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

Not an easy decision to make. My spouse has similar behaviors and it’s almost unbearable at times. This is my 2nd marriage and more often than not I think about ending things as it just never gets better. We went to counseling wherein he said he was fine and normal and it was me and my kids that were the problem. After 6.5 years together things haven’t improved and are exponentially worse for my kids as they’ve reached their teens. Everything they do or say is wrong or makes him mad. His mood swings and outbursts affect everyone around him including his estranged siblings and my brother. I don’t take him with to visit my brother so that the visit is enjoyable and stress free.

Honestly its been a string of broken promises of “I’ll do better, I won’t do it anymore” etc. Is it all bad? No but the bad times seem to be more than the good and unless you see him truly trying and making efforts to change your life with him will be difficult and less than happy. There’s no guarantee of happiness with anyone but in your case you have a pretty good idea how things will go. And its much easier to end a relationship than a marriage. If I could choose over I would have said no. Not just for myself but my kids.