This reply was originally posted by user befree in ADDitude’s now-retired community.
All kids with strong emotions need someone to reflectively listen to them when they are “in trouble” and can’t control themselves.
Then, when they are calm and happy again, they need someone to help them find things that they CAN do when they are feeling so angry (sad, happy, etc) INSTEAD of the behavior that they were using to alleviate the “pressure” and that was unacceptable.
So many times these children keep hearing what they CAN’T do, but they don’t have a clue what they CAN do, and no one seems to think it’s important to help them find that out.
Please try to understand: It’s so hard even for adults to know what to do when they lose control of emotions, why do we expect children to intrinsically know what to do?
And a lot of children (and adults) with ADHD lose control at every slightest thing. It’s really not their fault, it’s the processes in their brains that just work differently and that make emotions difficult for them to control.