Reply To: ADD + Comorbid Anxiety and Depression

Kevin Ju

This reply was originally posted by user Marr in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

I’m so sorry you and others feel this intensity in this way right now! It’s frustrating when we feel so much a loss of control over our bodies, how we would like to feel and when it is so on going

It is terrible to feel that others don’t get us, whether they do care but still don’t understand or others who don’t really care. All of them do not live in our body. Mine doesn’t get it either but he love me for other reasons. and there are things that I don’t get about him either.

I highly recommend having your hormones checked out. Yes changes like that do effect so much, but it’s not worth doing ourselves in over. Those who love you will suffer from your lose from this world. You have something to bring to it. There is not anyone like you that have the same combination of talents you have, and personality in combination. You are a gift to the world and have something only you can share. Your smile your manner of being here is a wonder and blessing. Give the gift of yourself to you and to others.

I would get myself into bright warming flood lights whether you get some into your home or go out into shops with beautiful things displayed under them if you can get yourself out of the house. Visit with the sales person some if they seem friendly. During really
bad times I also tried some St John’s Wort.

If your having trouble choosing sock, stick to two colors. Dress in ways that you feel nurtured, example I love soft textures so I wear them, in sweaters, and scarfs, If you like pika dots wear them often. I use scents. Lavender is calming, orange and lemon lifting. I have a tabletop water fountain that I listen to or YouTube natural sounds. They have water fountain ones too. I saved out a string of Christmas lights and put them in a cut glass bowl and now I’m going to enjoy them all year round whether from my couch or just being in the room. I watch birds from my windows, lay in my hammock, rock in a rocker or glider. Wear hats that sing to my heart. Create a small space that is your mini oasis inside and outside your home. Do be sure to do something everyday that you love, once found joy in, or brings tenderness into your life daily. Record them and read them occasionally. It helps you remember what you like or what has meaning to you.

Learn from examples of courage around you. People who have gotten thru rough things, and find out what they did to get them on the other side to live with dignity amidst hardship and life time issues. Read the stories of others on this site or TED Talks etc. I read a story about a gal who could no longer walk, but still wore her high heel shoes while in a wheelchair instead of getting rid of them because she could no longer walk in them. How can you show up in “high heels” in your own life? You can a little at a time. What little thing can you do like that that could help you get thru another day.

Allow yourself what you need that is lifting to make your world work for you. Keep things real simple if need be. Like the sock, it makes the matching of them easier if you have two colors all the same type, like tan and blue or black and white. Hooks instead of hangers. One or two boxes for your shoes. Your most used ones will always be on top. File by broad categories. Colored folders. Use colored items to find them easier. Allow yourself what you need to do to make your world work for you instead of you working for it. Use your spaces in how you want to live your life not necessarily how the whole world thinks you should. Adrianne Benefit found her client was an advid crafter and needed space for thoses items including fabrics, but she hardly used her kitchen cabinets. So they had a small area for the clients quick meal prep for her microwave meals, and the rest of the kitchen cabinets had her crafting supplies and table and counters for working with her projects. Thinking out of the box in our own circumstances create new life and vistas into our old.

You can have some control were you can by your own creations in your environment even if the doing is done in small amount of time. You change just some part of your own world that can bring back some positives while you gradually learn to deal with the rest.

After seeing numerous doctors the past 21 months, I’ve been struggling with overwhelming Chronic Fatigue which has been depressive and significant weakness in my arms and legs that came on suddenly on top of already having ADD.I have been practicing all that I’ve shared to help me survive all of it.

I am hoping that something’s I’ve shared might help you and others continue along life’s path.