Reply To: Feeling Like a Failure

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Allison Russo

This reply was originally posted by user adhdmomma in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

The stress kids are under in middle school is overwhelming. Add disabilities to the mix and it’s like a pressure cooker. Our cognitive capabilities shut down under stress and anxiety, and our behavior and emotions can go haywire.

It sounds to me like he’s in crisis, and crisis behaviors occur when expectations exceed capability. I would ask the school to do a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) and formulate and implement a resulting Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP). I’d request a full evaluation for services and an IEP if he doesn’t already have those supports. If he does, I’d call an IEP meeting and modify it to better support his current needs.

As Ross Greene says, “Kids do well if they can.” When a child isn’t doing well, we have to get to the root of the matter and help them succeed.

ADDconnect Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism