Reply To: My husband doesn’t understand my ADHD

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Allison Russo

This reply was originally posted by user ladydiwalton in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

Thanks for being there. I have been feeling quite “alone”. I am quite depressed and having trouble getting motivated. I am getting to work everyday and managing there (in a great new job that I just started) but after work I cannot seem to get off the couch and do anything. The good thing is that I have been keeping my distance from HIM. We have not been getting along and the arguments were getting more and more heated. He wants me to LISTEN and gets frustrated if I try to explain my position (often he is upset by something that is just a misunderstanding). He gets so angry and ends up yelling at me and calling me names like “neurotic”, “pathetic” and “loser”. I have taken to simply leaving his house when he is in this state because he is so irrational that if I say anything at all he becomes aggressive. I love him but I am kind of disgusted with myself that I don’t respect myself more. I am a terrible communicator (as he has outlined to me often) and I am not able to share my feelings in a way that makes sense to him. He often cuts me off and tells me I am not making sense…..and because he is right I just turn off. I am supposed to be proud of myself because I got this great new job and I got accepted into a Masters Program in the Fall (which I have wanted to do my whole adult life and finally took the action to apply)….When he is angry with me he tells me that I won’t be able to do it (be a success at school). Anyway, my ego is beat up at the moment and the couch potato routine is making it worse. Everyday I pack my gym bag and say that I will go to the gym after work…which I know would make a positive difference…and each day I come home…start eating and turn on the tv and try to tune out because I can’t stand to think about him and what the right thing to do is. I know that I should end it.with him…but I moved across the country to be with him so I should be trying harder….Anyway…