Reply To: My husband doesn’t understand my ADHD

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#40334
Allison Russo
Keymaster

This reply was originally posted by user mosky1941 in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

I hear your pain and understand so much more about your feelings as I share them. I have wanted to run away so many times from marriage in the past 2 years (my first at 73) that I have about 8 boxes packed with my personal precious stuff and hidden in the basement. I know I will stay for the long run, but it makes me feel better to do something physical like packing away some of my things.

Please don’t let this new man in your life destroy you with hurtful comments. Get out and meet new people. Try going to a coffee shop, an ADHD meeting if there is one in your area, Recovery Inc is a possibility, but language is stilted and I was not comfortable there.

How about a community center or sewing, knitting, craft group to keep your mind occupied with something other that self-blame.

I still have my self-blame moments but try hard to shake them off and tell myself the past is past.

Also, I finally know I am not to blame for my ADHD. It can happen to anyone and can run in families.

I have said “I’m sorry” to my friends and husband so many times in private and in company of friends, that my friends have told me to stop and think about what I am saying and stop saying “I’m sorry”. It becomes a habit after awhile.

I know in my heart I am doing the best I can.

I am trying hard to accept myself. Odd, I’m not critical about others, but I’m over-critical about what I think are my shortcomings. When that happens I say to myself “GET OVER IT”

I hope you stay in the Group. It has helped me so much knowing I’m not alone. Please stay in touch and let me know how you are doing. You are loved just the way you are. mosky