This reply was originally posted by user mosky1941 in ADDitude’s now-retired community.
I think it is interesting that we think we can help someone else when we are barely functioning ourselves. I have provided a couple of replies and find in re-reading my replies, I only wish I could follow some of my own advice. I know it is good advice. Must remind myself I am doing the very best I can. Everything has slowed down for me these past weeks. My office is a mess and I have to force myself into action to get the necessary household activities taken care of. Have been in a lot of physical pain and don’t want to take RX pain pills. Pain has been cause of some of my inactivity, perhaps most of it.
I read about home treatments and try to get better. I can’t tell now if it is the pain or increase in depression turned into acceptance that this is the way life will always be. My search for happiness has failed and I am beginning to believe it doesn’t exist and those that appear happy are only pretending. What allows a person to be happy? Something special in their makeup, religious beliefs, or perhaps an attitude of SO WHAT what will be will be and move on. I have always been helpful to others but fall short when it comes to helping myself. My life could not be more boring. Being able to write this nonsense is foolish but somehow helpful to get the thoughts out of my head. I suppose it is necessary to vent but the relief is short lived. I see my physician first part of November and my MHNP mid-November.
All my previous visits tell me I am healthy. Why, then, do I have so much pain and now indifference. I know there isn’t an answer, so I just keep plugging along, one day following my own advice and the next day barely unable to get out of bed. Whatever God intended for me, I feel like I have failed and time is running out. Maybe my only job is to save myself which seems selfish. Wish I could write something cheerful, but can only seem to write when I am discouraged. I pray all of us who suffer from whatever form of Mental Problems, fight as an army for better answers to our problems. mosky