Reply To: My husband doesn’t understand my ADHD

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Allison Russo

This reply was originally posted by user agoldencomet in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

Hi there, mosky!

I am a 68 yr-old woman who was diagnosed with ADHD only four months ago! Now I understand who I was all those years and also why I have been depressed since I was a child.

I would strongly recommend having some outside support if possible. I have been seeing a cognitive-behavioural therapist and she really helps. For some, a spiritual advisor helps.

Also I have read Delivered from Distraction by Hallowell and Ratey. Their first “top tip for adult ADD” is “Marry the right person: someone who loves you for who you are” (p 308).

I would suggest that you also read this book (as it was wonderful) and see if your hubbie would be interested in reading some bits of it so he will understand you better. It would also give you a basis for discussions (however short).

Don’t be discouraged – he is not the “wrong person” – he just needs some help to become the right one!

Also, I find humour helps. If I do a clumsy thing, forget something, etc. I call it one of my “ADD moments” with a smile/chuckle.

And lastly, if you are a country music fan, I just found out that Michelle Wright has ADHD!! She mentions it publicly on stage. So it means that the rest of us addult ADHDers can come out of our closets (our cluttered ones – LOL)!

Good luck! Stick with the meds if they help!