This reply was originally posted by user bahr98 in ADDitude’s now-retired community.
OMG! That just breaks my heart to pieces! I’m so sorry for him and for you. I’m all teary reading this. This is one of my biggest fears.
My ADHD son is in 5th grade and I have found that as kids get older, they also get a lot more mean. So the last couple of years, we have only invited 1 friend. Luckily, my son 1 good friend (who is high functioning autistic) so they are both kind of in the same boat. I know this one friend will always show up, so I avoid the situation by contacting the parent first to make sure he can come.
I don’t know if this helps you, but if your son has 1 or 2 buddies, you could contact their parents first and deliver invitations to the parents or have them mailed to their house to avoid the school rules. I do also know that big groups are a little overwhelming for my son, so the smaller group is much better for him. He gets much less frustrated.
Big hugs to you both. You not alone.