Reply To: Not sure Focalin XR is working but it is working….

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Some thoughts (if you haven’t given up on this slow forum yet):

1) In my experience, no medication helps me get started on boring/unpleasant stuff. It was true for Ritalin/Concerta, it’s true for Strattera, and would probably be true for amphetamine-based meds as well were I to try them. (I’m happy with Strattera though.) It only helps me stay focused on the task once started, i.e., not lose track halfway through and forget or fall asleep. The not starting part is about psychological defenses, and is a habit that needs to be changed with help from a supportive professional like a psychologist or coach (or perhaps your spouse, if the relationship is very supportive.)

2) Some women are kind of internalized/reverse sexists about chores, not appreciating men’s domestic work for being sloppy/inefficient compared to how they would do it. (Which of course worsens their own domestic burden.) It’s probably worse for ADHD men with non-ADHD women than for same-neurotype straight couples given that neurology and gender roles often create a double whammy. If your wife tends to be unhappy or unappreciative even if you do domestic work, and you can’t afford to hire a housekeeper like my OCD-without-the-C (no cleaning compulsions) husband and I have, bring that up with her and, if need be, a supportive professional as well.

3) Maybe try external reminders, like a “chore hour” alarm on your favorite small device, some policy of placing attractive distractions out of view or “do chores” cues like cleaning equipment in view the night before. Pre-commitment can make that hurdle you have to jump to get started smaller. As can habits – do this “chore hour” thing every morning for a while and it might semi-automate. Also, breaking it down into small steps that you can check off a list to chart your progress can make a long boring task less intimidating. Of corse, you need some executive function to do that breakdown.

4) Maybe your med schedule needs an adjustment. Some stimulant users combine short-and long-acting meds, usually to counter the drop in the evening, but maybe you are on too high a dose in the morning. Talk to your prescribing doctor about it, especially if points 1-3 don’t help.