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Read all you can here about rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), which is basically a tendency toward extreme overreactions – to the point of temporary insanity – to anything perceived as people turning you down or you letting them down. Your problem # 1 sounds like the people-pleasing described as a common means of coping with RSD, debilitated by covid-friendly online interaction and thus turning into social anxiety. My RSD tends to show up more in “failure” contexts, like losing a competition or getting scolded in a work setting, but can occasionally show up (without being anticipated, and thus not associated with people pleasing) with criticism in other social contexts such as a faux pas or a comment about my non-native Spanish. Reading about RSD was a huge part of my realizing last year that I had not outgrown or been misdiagnosed with ADHD, and thus getting help. So whether my suspicion that RSD is key to your problems is right or not, read about it anyway and, if it hits home, talk to your mental health professional(s) about it. Good luck!