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I’m so sorry for this! I’m the ADD partner; diagnosed 19 yrs ago at age 35. My wife and I will be married 28 yrs this summer. I’d like to say it’s been wonderful, but ADD has reared its mean-spirited self several times in the years we’ve been together. Granted, there were also several other unresolved issues that went untreated for a LONG time. However, I’m lucky to have found a partner who loves me for who I am. It’s been a challenge, especially re-building some foundations that I was unwilling/unable to confront for so long. But with medication and treatment (both are necessary for me) as essential supports for me and us, we’re closer to being what we first were than I can remember.
I know we can be infuriating as partners at times. However, if you have a partner who’s willing to support you (not do things for you), it can certainly work. But you need to be kind to yourself! I know that is one thing we ADD folks struggle with so much. But your ex here didn’t seem to on board with the ‘partner’ thing – it needs to come from you both. You also sound really self-aware here. I’m sure just being yourself and open with any new relationships will help you find a person who is willing stand with you and build something with you. Hang in there – you can find a lot of support here, too.
I wish you all positive energy as you move forward on your journey. I hope this helped a little. I check these boards regularly, so we’re here if you need it…