Forgive me for asking but do you have a history of depressive episodes?
…it would be best talking through this with gp but I’n the meantime check out a book called stand up tall with your shoulders back by Jordan Peterson. He also has plenty of videos on YouTube. It helped empower me to make a change and view things differently. Also, make sure you peruse the ADHD diagnoses – leave reminders and set a timeframe to make progress otherwise you’ll be asking yourself the same questions next week, next month, next year..